• Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Home
  • Blog
Hells Nerds Motorcycle Club

Hells Nerds Motorcycle Club

Home of the Hells Nerds Motorcycle Club

  • Members
  • Contact Us

Blog

Seat Modifications

17 May 2019 by Christian Payne

I’m planning a UK motorbike trip that will require me to carry luggage on my 2008 Triumph Scrambler. It’s not normally very good at that.

The seat I have is very thin, made of leather and not really conducive for long trips.

I thought about picking up a new seat but then remembered i’d kept the original from before I customised my bike. It’s a thick solo seat and rack. White trim on black vinyl but easily modded.

So I dug it out from storage and sprayed it to suit how the Triumph looks now.

I think it looks great. Let’s see how long I can keep it that way.

Filed Under: Gear Tagged With: diy, seat, spreying, triumph

Why Ride?

6 October 2018 by Christian Payne

I could ride a motorbike before I could drive a car. I went from an Suzuki AP50 to a Honda CM125. Once I passed my test I bought an old 400cc Yamaha, then nippy a 400 cc Suzuki Bandit. I had no idea it was a rare import until someone stopped me in the street and offered me a blank cheque. With the money I bought a 1300cc Yamaha XJR. A bike fantastic at going fast in a straight line. Not so good on narrow country lanes. So I sold it and bought a 125 LML Star Deluxe. I had more fun on that Indian made Vespa clone than all the bikes before it. I regretted selling it.

Yet all these bikes, big or small, slow or crazy fast, got the adrenalin flowing, gave me confidence, allowed me independence. I also felt cool. Because I thought everyone else on a bike was cool.

Bikers were few and far between. Unhindered they could weave through obsticles. Slip in between, around and on their way. Leaving cars at the lights and heading off who knows where. An adventure no doubt.

It was adventure that got me into Land Rovers. And when I killed my second Land Rover the internet helped me buy a BMW F650R.

Stacked with luggage It felt too much like a car. So I traded it in for my current bike. A 2008 Triumph Scrambler. My first Triumph and a bike I have kept for nearly 9 years. It’s the kind of bike i’d expect to see next to the word ‘motorbike’ in an encyclopedia. It’s not fast in bike terms but 900cc is more than enough to excite me. Mostly it makes me smile.

Jumping on the bike and going for a ride can treat a multitude of ills. You burn more calories riding a bike than driving a car. You see more, notice more. You have to. Whether flying down a high hedged country lane, or weaving through the cities backstreets, you need to have your wits about you. If you never get to achieve a sense of Zen in your day job get a bike. There, in an endorphine rich ‘flow state’ you can slow time, tune into your body and it’s surroundings, spend some time inside yourself.

Astride a bike, on the road, on an adventure, is being in the world.

And I promise you. You will feel better for it.

Filed Under: Tales from the road Tagged With: honda, scrambler, suzuki, triumph

Land of the dead

5 October 2018 by Christian Payne

1000 miles in the saddle and more to come.

This is my first time in New Mexico, but my second time riding out with the growing motorcycle club #HellsNerds.

Here is a video clip from last year’s inaugural motorcycle journey.

When I accepted this years invitation I had no idea how quickly this would turn into another trip of a lifetime.

Desert planes and mountains, album cover vistas and wastelands. 

On day one the group of nine got fragmented and three of us found ourselves riding a smooth ribbon of empty road straight through the desert.

I’m riding a borrowed Triumph T120, flies decorate the front, soft luggage adorns the back and I’m one happy SOB in the middle.

Parallel to one of the countries arterial rail routes we drew alongside a monster freight train. The longest I have ever seen. Pushing 90 (allegedly) I turned to see the driver of the train smiling at me. I smiled back and gestured the universal signal for ‘pull the horn’. As we accelerated into triple figures and passed the engine, three thundering blasts could be heard across the planes.

Later in the bar we giggled like children recounting the moment. The film dumb and dumber was recalled. 

Whether or not reality is in fact a simulation, out here it’s increasingly feeling like a movie.

I even got to have a beer with Dennis Hopper. Better late than never.

“Just because it happened to you doesn’t mean it’s interesting”

Dennis Hopper

Filed Under: Tales from the road Tagged With: New Mexico, t120, triumph

The Bell Bullitt

28 September 2018 by Christian Payne

I picked up a new helmet for my 2018 Hells Nerds ride in the US.

I have had my eye on the Bell Bullitt for a while now. I wore an open face helmet on the 2017 Devils Highway trip and there were times it really got on my nerves. It was not the best fit and although happy to be wearing it on the one time I did hit the deck, it wouldn’t have really helped me in a faster, harder crash.

Yes I bought the Bell because of the styling but it’s also a huge leap up in terms of quality and safety. It’s no way the safest helmet available, but if you want to be 100% safe don’t ride a motorbike. No helmet can save you from a traumatic brain injury, but it will certainly increase your chances of survival.

The Bullitt fits well, offers great vision, stays put at speed, and makes me look like an trainee astronaut popping home on his lunch break. It is quieter than an open face helmet but I still feel my face is free and visible. Although I don’t have the science to back this up, I think other drivers notice faces on a subconscious level. I wear an open face helmet around town in the UK because I feel I’m noticed by those that are aware and can shout at those that are not. I’m hoping this helmet will offer me the same. With the added safety of the chin bar. 

I’ve noticed new wind sounds I’ll have to get used to, but I normally wear ear plugs on long rides. It’s well vented and well made like the Ruby Belvedere Concorde I have used in the UK for the last 10 years. If this fares well in the deserts of New Mexico It may become my goto lid. 

Technically I don’t have to wear a helmet in New Mexico. Three states in the US have no helmet laws at all; Iowa, Illinois and New Hampshire. But many of the other states like NM only legislate for those 17 and under. Even in the heat I’d rather not take my chances. I’ll be full face helmet, kevlar jeans and upper body armour all the way.

[Update: The helmet did me proud. Although it would occasionally become weaponised in the bright sun causing other riders to squint like cowboys, it worked great in the heat. It did earn me the temporary nickname of ‘Disco ball’ but thankfully that wore off. (I swear it was matt grey in the online photo when I bought it.)]

~ Christian @Documentally Payne

Filed Under: Gear Tagged With: bell bullitt, hells nerds, helmet

Born To Be Mild

10 November 2017 by Christian Payne

Everything burns in Arizona. 

Sunburn, windburn, friction burn. I have it all. And yet under my goggles and scarf I’m smiling ear to ear.

I’ve rarely been without a bike. It’s an escape from everything. It’s also immersion. A car is a box and a bike wings. Two wheels move the soul through the world. And then there’s the excitement, the adrenalin. Because anything can… and does eventually happen.

And Arizona is incredible.

Rain does not stop play out here. There is none.

There are five of us. The Hells Nerds. Three ride Ducati, one BMW and there’s me on a brand new Triumph T120. I’ve never motorbiked like this. The Google map links I’ve included below are approximate as many detours and spontaneous excursions were taken along the way.

Day 1 Sat Nov 4 Phoenix to Prescott
Out of the city and into the wild. Damn it was hot. https://goo.gl/maps/gcyeCgg9uVU2

Day 2 Sun Nov 5 Prescott Valley via Jerome, Sedora and Flagstaff to Tusayan on the edge of the Grand Canyon. Could not count the times I said and thought “Wow!” https://goo.gl/maps/kgbsucDwgrA2

Day 3 Mon 6 Nov Grand Canyon to Flagstaff, via Wupatki National Monument and Sunset Crater. The great weather continued as we skirted the canyon and headed into empty roads. https://goo.gl/maps/LbZXAHhMaK42

Day 4 Tues 7 Nov Flagstaff to Globe, via Payson
Battered by the winds it was the hardest day so far. Tough on the body, but once again easy on the eyes as we were immersed in cinematographic landscapes. https://goo.gl/maps/FYhXd8p28sD2

Day 5 Wed 8 Nov. Globe to Alpine.
What a ride! The most picturesque riding I’ve experienced.
https://goo.gl/maps/MUg6E3BXwqK2

This took us further East, through mountain passes, perfect motorcycling roads and stunning vistas.

We had lunch at Fort Apache and ended the day adding a ride down Big Lake Road. Turned out to be the most beautiful route yet. We finished up just off the old Route 666 in a cabin in Alpine. 8000 feet up.

Day 6 Thursday 9 Nov Alpine via Three Way to Phoenix along the Devil’s Highway. The final day of riding. 

Over 300 miles and around 7 hours of riding. This is why we’re here. https://goo.gl/maps/fhwss81yRK22

Described by the Butler maps (the motorcyclists bible) as the best motorcycling road in the continental US. Some say it’s also one of the most dangerous. There are no police and help, if you need it, is a long way away.

It’s hard to explain how good this road was to ride. A sweeping tarmac ribbon following contour lines up and around the mountains. It’s as easy as you want it to be if you are happy to ride real slow.

I wanted to find some middle ground and that’s all well and good till you come face to face with a precipice. So I paced myself and got into a flow. I was just thinking that this was the best I had ridden all week. If I had been happy with my life yesterday, today was better and some.

It felt like the road was teaching me how to be a better rider. Yet only minutes after that…

I went into a corner that required me to lean so far the foot pegs scraped. Now this on itself was not unusual. I had scraped them on a few turns before. On this occasion though the scraping seemed to stop abruptly and I think the back wheel left the road. Then my body slammed into it. I slid with the bike into a shallow drainage channel.

My first thoughts were that I had wrecked the brand new Triumph T120 I had borrowed off a friend. I picked up the debris. Mostly plastic bits that had shattered from my Go-Pro and found the camera still running.

My kevlar lined riding jeans and Belstaff jacket had done the job of protecting me and I got straight back on the bike. It was another three and half hours ride into Phoenix. On pulling up to the hotel we had ridden approximately 1359 miles, averaging 53mph for 27 hours.

I’ll miss this beautiful wasteland. It was a trip of a lifetime. The best riding I have ever experienced. It ended with great Italian food and amazing wine. All five of us recounted our favourite moments as we toasted the journey, each other, and how lucky were.

[This post was copied from my weekly newsletter.]

Filed Under: Tales from the road Tagged With: arizona, route 666, triumph, usa

  • « Go to Previous Page
  • Page 1
  • Page 2

Established in 2017